


Tripping Along

by Satine86



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Banter, Ficlets, Fluff, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-23 19:42:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17689658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Satine86/pseuds/Satine86
Summary: Couple recent ficlets done for a tumblr meme.1. Don't look at me like that!2. Here, let me see / Will you just hold still?3. If you love it so much, then why don't you marry it?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kagee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kagee/gifts).



> My first attempt at writing these two... well three if you include Edward the dog.

Ed stood with is back straight and his hands fisted on his hips, hoping it gave him some air of authority. It probably didn’t. And when it didn’t seem to work, he sighed in defeat.

“Don’t look at me like that!” he snapped.

Staring up at him from the floor the bulldog only continued to look at him blithely with sorrowful eyes, and tilted his head in confusion. Could the dog even really understand him enough to be confused? That was hardly the point right now. This needed to stop!

“What do you want!?” he asked, throwing his hands up.

“What are you yelling about now?” Oswald appeared in the doorway, looking between dog and man suspiciously.

“He won’t stop!” Ed pointed an accusing finger toward the bulldog.

Oswald frowned and moved to pick up the dog. “Edward you just ignore mean old Ed and his yelling. You’re perfect no matter what he says.” He kissed the dog’s muzzle and Ed nearly rolled his eyes into the back of his head.

“Now,” Oswald said, finally turning his attention on Ed. Edward the dog still clutched in his arms. “What is this about?”

“He won’t stop giving me that-that look!” Ed gestured at the dog, encompassing his face.

“What look?” Oswald shifted the dog in his arms, trying to get a better view of his face. “I don’t see it.”

“His eyes, Oswald.” Ed frowned. “He does that thing with his eyes. It’s the same thing you do when you want something! So I want to know what he wants!”

There was a long stretch of silence in which Oswald again looked from dog to man, and back again. Apparently trying to discern what any of it meant – which was ridiculous, Ed had just told him what it all meant – before there was a figurative lightbulb over his head and he laughed.

He laughed so hard he nearly dropped the dog.

“Are saying I have a puppy eyes?” Oswald continued to laugh.

“I… no. I don’t. That’s not what I meant!” Ed stammered, although backtracking was useless now. He’d dug his hole. And it was the dog’s fault.

“Oh, Ed. Don’t be upset.” Oswald put his face close to the dog’s and batted his eyes piteously.

Ed glared at him. “Don’t you even start with me.”

“We just want you to be happy, Ed.” He continued to look at him with sad eyes.

“I’m leaving.” He started to hurry out of the room, followed by more of Oswald’s laughter.

Stupid puppy eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know there had be a little angst....

“Will you let me see?”

“No! It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Ed, will you just old still?” Oswald reached out slowly, trying not to spook him.

“I told you it’s fine!” he said, and slapped Oswald’s hand away.

The back and forth was wearing on Oswald’s last nerve, and he was not about to lose this stupid argument or whatever it was. He pointed toward the chair and attempted to muster as much authority as he could.

“Edward Nygma sit down right this instant!” he barked.

Ed glared at him for a moment, hand tapping against his leg before he moved around the side of the chair and took a seat. His arms crossed and something akin to a pout on his face.

Honestly, this was absolutely ridiculous.

“Well,” he said. “Get it over with.”

Oswald sighed, and realized now that he had the opportunity to look… he wasn’t quite sure he wanted to. He swallowed and pursed his lips, lifted his hand slowly and… it did not tremble. He was just agitated after arguing. That was all.

Carefully – gently – he parted Ed’s hair to reveal the jagged scar underneath, the staples and stitches, and followed the line along his crown. His hand did tremble then.

“Oh, Ed…” he breathed

“Don’t say you’re sorry.” Ed waved his hands dismissively. “I don’t want pity.” He was pouting again, sinking a little lower in the chair.

“Well I am sorry. And I’m certainly not offering up pity!” He moved around the chair to look at Ed. “Who took you to Hugo Strange? I did. He was able to that because of me, Ed! So I’m sorry. I would have never… if I had known…”

“I know.” He looked less sulky now, a little more contrite. He reached out and grabbed Oswald’s hand and squeezed it. “I know.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And concluding with more ridiculousness.

The dog’s name was Edward.

It was so damned confusing.

Most of the time Ed had no clue who Oswald was talking to, since at some point he had apparently adopted the habit of talking to the dog as if he were a human who could respond – Ed didn’t dwell on that fact too much.

And if it wasn’t that, then it was baby talk. So much baby talk.

It was disgusting.

Also still weirdly confusing, but in a different way. Not that he would admit that out loud to another living soul. Ever.

Anyway, the point was that Ed had slowly been responding less and less to his first name, because if Oswald really wanted his attention and was frustrated enough by the lack of acknowledgement, he would just indignantly holler, “Edward Nygma!” And then there was no confusion as to which of them he meant.

The method wasn’t perfect, but it got results. That was all that mattered. Now if he could only figure out a way to put a stop to all the baby talk….

As if summoned by his thoughts, Oswald appeared carting the aforementioned bulldog in his arms and using that ridiculous voice as he so often did.

“That dog is spoiled,” Ed found himself saying. Almost childishly… almost resentfully.

“He’s not spoiled!” Oswald protested, clutching the dog protectively to him. “He’s loved.”

“Well, if you love Edward so much, then why don’t you marry him?” he mocked under his breath. That was childish. Like they were nothing more than children at recess. What was wrong with him?

Oswald looked at him shrewdly. In that calculating way of his that usually meant trouble. This did not bode well. It was probably too late for an escape. Damn it.

Setting the dog down gently, Oswald made his way to where Ed was sitting and primly took a seat next to him. He laced his fingers on his lap and gave Ed a small, knowing smile.

“Ed,” he started lightly. This was definitely not good. “You’re jealous.”

“Of what?”

“Of Edward.”

He snorted. “I’m not jealous of a dog, Oswald.”

“But I think you are,” Oswald sing-songed. “Why would I marry my dog, Ed?”

“Because it’s a childish insult usually reserved for mocking people’s adoration of inanimate objects or food. You would never actually marry your dog. That’s the point.” Did he really need to explain this to Oswald?

“Yet.” He held up a finger, still smiling. “That was the first thing to come to your mind, Ed. And you actually called him ‘Edward.’“ He leaned back and spread his hands, as if his resting his case.

He also looked utterly pleased with himself. Ed frowned.

“I have no–” He cut himself off when it dawned on him what Oswald was actually insinuating. Ed’s eyes went wide as he shot to his feet. “I do not want to marry you!”

“Are you sure?” Oswald drug out the last word as if it had eight syllables. He then batted his eyes as if he were cute. He was not cute.

Ed could feel the panic starting to rise. Not that he had any reason to panic. This was all extremely ridiculous and meant nothing and Oswald was just– Oswald. That was it!

He narrowed his eyes. “Why are you so fixated on this, Oswald? Maybe it’s the other way around, hm?”

Oswald sighed and rolled his eyes, but didn’t respond.

Silence fell over them, and only then did Ed realize this was less a battle of wits and more like a game of chicken. Who would break first, and what would it mean when they did? Ed tried to figure out which option was the best, but none of them seemed satisfactory.

The longer he thought, the longer the quiet stretched out between them, and the more comfortable he got. Finally, he couldn’t stand it anymore. So he turned on his heel and fled. A chicken indeed.

“Oh, Ed?” Oswald called after him, a smile in his voice. “If you love me so much, then why don’t you marry me?”

“MAYBE I WILL!?” he bellowed as he whirled back around.

Oswald looked like that cat that ate the canary, a smug smile slowly lifting the corners of his mouth. Ed realized there was no turning back now, no logical way out. And… maybe for once that was okay?


End file.
